In the fall of 1965, and as a 7th grader going to Jones Avenue Middle School, the second eldest in a family of five children in a milltown outside of Pittsburgh, I wasn't sure about much. Just getting to school without incident in a tough neighborhood was a major accomplishment. We had recently moved into the 3rd ward, and I didn't have many friends yet.

It was with some hopeful anticipation for friendship that I approached Mark's house on an early morning to walk to school together. I knocked on the door and a middle-aged man in a railroad vest answered the door. With a warm and interested tone, he greeted me. "Hello, I'm Mark's dad, Mr. Jones. Why don't you come in, Mark will be right down. He runs a little late sometimes." He motioned with his arm for me to have a seat on a couch in the living room. I was struck with what a nice home it was-clean, well-kept and nicely furnished. I couldn't help but look at the floor model television wondering if it was color. Magazines with "Knights of Columbus" on the cover sat on the coffee table. The dining room was adjacent to the living room and a woman with a chenille robe was seated at the dining room table wearing reading glasses. She held a cup of tea, teapot closeby, while she perused the newspaper. "And what is your name?" she asked. I responded with Tommy, excited at her interest. This brief encounter was repeated in some fashion or another over the next two years. Mr. & Mrs. Jones would ask how I was doing, inquiring about school, football and my family. I remember watching, almost studying Mr. Jones as he walked around the living room, dining room and kitchen. He was kind with soft eyes and did not seem given to male power displays.

These small moments in time are what I refer to as "mentoring moments." Mr. Jones did not play a large role in my life as it relates to the amount of time spent together, but the string of moments tied together provided me with an alternative masculine role model to that of my own family and neighborhood. His role was not large, but very significant. The predominant culture has a tendency to define mentoring as a fairly labor intensive experience, but for those that are in disadvantaged circumstances, you take direction in any moment you can find it.

As much as I respect and admire the working-class men and women in my hometown, I could not wait to leave. There was too much violence in the neighborhood and home. I also felt much guilt about leaving siblings to fend for themselves. And sure enough, things got much worse before they got better. My two younger brothers quit high school, one as a senior and the youngest as a sophomore. As I became educated with bachelor's and master's degrees in psychology and clinical psychology, my brothers were curious. When I was home on family visits, I could feel the two of them studying me reminiscent of my experience with Mr. Jones.

The youngest was the first to disclose his unhappiness with his circumstances, and I strongly suggested to him that he needed to get his GED. With his GED in hand, I suggested in another conversation that he try college. My wife and I lived in a small college town north of Pittsburgh at the time and asked him if he'd consider living with us and attending Edinboro State College. With the help of a family friend who happened to be in the admissions department, Jim was accepted provisionally to the institution. In the fall of 1981, Jim's education took off like the proverbial rocket and in a blazing four-and-a-half years, he earned his bachelor's and master's degrees in psychology and clinical psychology. Dana, the brother closest in age to me was not to be outdone. Some of the family had moved to California around 1980 and after passing the GED exam, Dana began classes at Golden West Community College. Over the next decade, he gradually made his way to California State-Fullerton and finished bachelor's and master's degrees in similar fields as well. Around the time Dana began attending community college, I enrolled in doctoral studies at the University of Southern California. This required moving to California, which consequently increased my contact with Dana. Over the next four years (1987-1991), on occasion, I would bring each of my brothers to the school, walk the campus and have them attend a class or supervision with me. These efforts were intentional but not labor intensive. I completed my Ph.D. in 1996 and, surprisingly or not so surprisingly, my brothers followed suit. In the summer of 2004, both brothers completed their respective doctorates; Dana from Loma Linda University in California and Jim from Duquesne University in Pittsburgh, PA. We celebrated that same summer with a family celebration that had a "Three Stooges" theme and posed for pictures exclaiming, "For Duty and Humanity."

Since then, my brothers and I have been meeting, trying to figure out how this happened. How did three scruffy boys from a working-class neighborhood end up with the highest degrees in the land? We've met repeatedly and in the process discovered that mentors and "mentoring moments" like the "Mr. Jones narrative" played a significant role.

The significance of "mentoring moments" is not lost on teachers, coaches, parents, neighbors or anyone who is in a relationship with another. The key is for the potential mentors to be attuned to the moments and mentees-and for the mentees to search the mentors for the pearls of instruction, wisdom or skill. These moments are embedded in everyone's everyday life if we choose to seize them. So, watch for the opportunity to experience a "mentoring moment" with a loved one, a student, a neighbor, or a stranger. And similar to "random acts of kindness" or "paying it forward," we as a people can increase the connection, decrease the isolation and offer healthy pro-social direction or alternatives to one another. Who knows what may happen?

An addendum is in order. Since the first draft of this brief article, a fourth sibling returned to school. After many years as a nurse's aide, our eldest sister, Diane, entered and completed a registered nursing program. She was officially pinned in the spring of 2009 with much family fanfare. Without giving away her actual age, she accomplished this feat with grandchildren in tow for many years. She attributes this accomplishment to the inspiration she received from watching her little brothers succeed. Confidence begets confidence!

Finally, it is possible that in our story sibling rivalry played a part in this whole process? On more than one occasion, my brothers remarked when I was attending University of Southern California that they wondered how in the world I ever made it into such a prestigious institution commenting, "I know this guy and he ain't that smart."

(pictured left to right, James K. Matta, Sr., Ed.D., LPC, NCC, Associate Professor, Psychology, Counseling & Human Services, Geneva College, Beaver Falls, PA; Dana S. Matta, Ph.D., L.M.F.T., Licensed Marriage & Family Therapist in Private Practice, Pittsburgh, PA; and Thomas F. Matta, Ph.D., L.M.F.T. Assistant Professor, Marriage & Family Studies, Mercyhurst College, Erie, PA)