April is Military Child month. Awareness of the special needs of children with parents in the Armed Services is burgeoning, as it should be. However, it seems that the research and human services information available is largely focused on parental deployment or helping children cope with war. What seems to get short shrift are the more commonplace concerns facing Military Kids. Even in non-wartime, a very frequent aspect of military life is the problem of frequent moves. Not only do the repeated uprootings affect children and peer relationships, another difficulty is ensuring educational continuity.

Although I am not a child raised in the military, I lived in five houses before I left for college.  During the transition from eighth to ninth grade, I completely missed Geography. In the first school, it was offered in ninth grade. In the second school, it was taught in eighth grade.  Whatever I know about Geography (which is not impressive) I've had to pick up on my own. I'm sure that children of migrant workers also find themselves in a similar predicament.

In this blog, I have a guest co-blogger, my friend Debra Lu Kaiser, "Lu."  She spent her whole childhood as a Military Child; she moved 11 times before she graduated from High School. When Lu and I were children, there was no internet-no Facebook-no easy way to stay in touch with friends. With the other issues, there was little appreciation for the child's grief and the effect of repeated educational interruptions they faced. The conventional wisdom was that "kids are resilient, they'll adjust."  Children relocating in the military life were and still are also dropped into other countries, with no familiarity of the local language and culture.

The U.S. Army now has a website for the support of Military Children at: http://www.operationmilitarykids.org/public/home.aspx . They list a resource for teachers of Military Children, https://www.operationmilitarykids.org/resources/ToughTopics%20BookletFINAL.pdf  but again, the bulk of the information is related to wartime. In doing research on this blog, I found a disappointing paucity of information on "Kids and Frequent Moving."  I contacted one of our NCFR members who is an expert on Military Families. Finally!  Dr. Shelley MacDermid Wadsworth of Purdue's Military Family Research Institute (http://www.mfri.purdue.edu) provided a rich bibliography on children and geographic mobility to consult. I will add it at the end of this blog.

Nothing beats first person experience for raising awareness. And now I introduce my friend, Lu, of State College, Pennsylvania who shares her memoir for which I am grateful.

***

The Wanderer: Life as Military Child

By Debra Lu Kaiser

I was born in Biloxi, Mississippi. My father was an Army man of just a year at that time. The next few years of my life we lived in Prum, Germany.  Then it was back to the U.S. My mother was pregnant with my brother at the time we flew back. It was illegal for a pregnant military wife to fly, so my brother flew home illegally before he was even born!

My father then enlisted in the Air Force when his Army duty ended. As we visited my grandmother in Nebraska, she was charmed with the way I said "Auf Wiedersehen." That simple German word for goodbye defined much of my life from then on. We went to California to get settled, then to Wichita Falls, Texas for my dad's training; then back to California for his assignment.

The very first clear memory I have is wandering lost among the Texas weeds that were taller than my three year old body.  My next memory was getting lost trying to find my way home from school the first day of Kindergarten.  Interestingly, these earliest memories formed a metaphor for my childhood.

My brother was born in Lompoc, California in 1961. We then had to return to Biloxi, Mississippi. I hated moving from California after making my first childhood friends there; it was very traumatic. In Mississippi I was the "northerner," abused by my teacher and made an object of ridicule when I was forced to stand in front of the class because I fanned myself with a sheet of paper like the rest of the class was doing on that hot day. I was punished for not bringing enough paper to class and for asking questions which she thought were stupid.

Because of my frequent moves and the curricular inconsistencies across schools, I had missed some important concepts such as multiplication and division which my parents had to teach me. My parents pulled me out of that school because of the teacher's prejudicial abuse, and I went to a Catholic school for a little while. My father had to teach me math in Biloxi. I still have math anxiety to this day due to learning under extreme stress.  We all, as a family, had a miserable time adjusting.  I remember being very depressed, and my mother had a big birthday party to cheer me up. There were all of the neighborhood children gathered around the table-absolutely none of them whom I knew.

Then we moved to Rapid City, South Dakota, where we made igloos in the snow.  A bully tore down our igloo once, but we were resilient kids.  We rebuilt our masterpiece of architecture-another metaphor for my childhood. I learned to connect to groups of children there.

Next, we moved to Omaha, Nebraska, where I went to the same school my mother did when she was a child. Ironically, in perhaps the only example of educational continuity, I even had the same teacher for sixth grade cursive writing that my mother did!  My father was in Vietnam for a year and a half while we lived in Omaha. It was hard on my mother, brother and me without him. I cleaned tables, served food, and washed dishes in the cafeteria to earn my lunch each day. Then, when he returned, we went to a cottage in New Jersey for a month in between assignments and relaxed. It was strange having a father again after all that time without him; it was good to have that time together. 

My brother and I had become best friends-we were each other's only consistent playmate. We left for Germany again in 1969. By then, at age 12, I had mastered how to recognize the types of people I thought there were in the world. There were the clowns and troublemakers, the smart kids, the popular kids, and the outsiders. I was one of the excluded ones, because I was always the new kid. I was accepted into the society of marginalized children more readily than to any other group, so I made some very good friends of many nationalities. I matured fairly rapidly, and learned very quickly to discern between those who "acted" as if they were my friend-and those who were genuine. Looking back, I had become a Sociologist by default. Hahn Air Force Base Germany had "on base" housing, but we lived in the civilian economy in a German town called Kirchberg for a year and a half. Due to the language barrier, my brother and I were each other's only playmates once again. Then we moved on base, and I finally had friends. When I went into eleventh grade, I lived in a dorm in Wiesbaden, Germany. That only lasted for a few weeks, but I loved the taste of freedom from my parents. 

When I was 16, we moved to Tacoma, Washington. For the next year I attended school there, and made one very close friend and a nice group of buddies.  I had friends from each group, the musicians, intellectuals, cheerleaders, etc..., and remember sitting with different groups at lunch. I didn't seem to settle down to just one group, because they were all interesting to me.  I joined clubs for the first time; the science club, the archery club, drama club, the pep club and I tried out for cheerleading.  I had my second job then, working for the superintendant of schools, doing mapping and some typing.  It was amazing that I graduated from High School with good grades after all of those moves!

As an adult, I wandered about every two years, even when I was living in the same town!  In relationships, I also continued the familiar pattern. If I got bored with one, then I would "move on" to another. I ended up with a Sociology degree after attending three different colleges-changing schools again and again well into adulthood. 

As a "military brat," I have tendencies that are so common among us. Until I married, I moved frequently and gave in to my wanderlust at will. My job-hopping resume looked as if I were a "jack of all trades but master of none."

Now, I indulge in the fact that my Sociologist husband loves to travel, and we can plan an adventure together.  There is a nice feeling of having a "home base," but I've never had any illusions about home. My family and my friends are my home. Music and painting are my sanctuaries, where I can travel anywhere in my imagination.  I've made friends, slowly and steadily. I have registered at MilitaryBrat.com, and I highly recommend it for military children who have been involuntary wanderers like me. I have been able to connect with others from my past. A friend of mine tells me that there are military children groups on Facebook as well.

Are you a former military child who has struggled as a result of the frequent moves required of family life in the military? You are not alone, fellow wanderer.  Finding your "home" is possible; the word Auf Weidersehen no longer defines who I am.

***

Thank you, Lu, for your moving story. Now, as promised, here is the bibliography that Dr. MacDermid Wadsworth shared with me. Do you have information about Military Kids and their geographic mobility?  Please leave a comment at the end of this blog.

References:  Effects of Geographic Mobility or Relocation on Children and Youth: Military

Bowen, G. L. (1989).  Family adaptation to relocation:  An empirical analysis of family stressors, adaptive resources, and sense of coherence.  Alexandria, VA:  U.S. Army Research Institute.

Brown, A.C., & Orthner, D.K. (1990).  Relocation and personal well-being among early adolescents.  Journal of Early Adolescence, 10, 366-381.

Croan, G.M., LeVine, C.T., & Blankinship, D.A. (1991).  Family adjustment to relocation.  Alexandria, VA:  U.S. Army Research Institute.

Finkel, L.B., Kelley, M.L. & Ashby, J.  (2003).  Geopgraphic mobility, family, and maternal variables as related to the psychosocial adjustment of military children.  Military Medicine, 168, 1019-1024.

Giuliano, S.A.  (1988).  The impact of permanent change of station moves on Air Force enlisted family income for avionics and non-avionics personnel.  Wright-Patterson AFB, Ohio: Air Force Institute of Technology (AFIT/GCA/LSY/88S-4).

Keller, M.M., Schwartz, S., & Taylor, H.G. (2001).  U.S. Army Secondary Education Transition Study (SETS), Harker Heights, TX: The Military Child Education Coalition.

Marchant, K.H., & Medway, F.J. (1987).  Adjustment and achievement associated with mobility in military families. Psychology in the Schools, 24, 289-294.

Orthner, D.K., Giddings, M.M., & Quinn, W.H.  (1989).  Growing up in an organization family.  In G.L. Bowen & D.K. Orthner (Eds.), The organization family (pp. 117-139).  New York: Praeger.

Pittman & Bowen (1994).  Adolescents on the move:  Adjustment to family relocation.  Youth and Society, 26, 69-91.

Shaw, J.B., Fisher, C.D., & Woodman, R.W. (1983a).  A predictive model of transfer adjustment in the U.S. Marine Corps.  Prepared for Office of Naval Research, Report #1, Texas A&M University .

Shaw, J.B., Fisher, C.D., & Woodman, R.W. (1983b).  Attitudes toward making a transfer:  Factors related to reenlistment intentions, overall satisfaction, attitude toward future moves, and an analysis of qualitative data relevant to transfer attitudes.  Prepared for Office of Naval Research, Report #5, Texas A&M University.

Shaw, J.B., Fisher, C.D., & Woodman, R.W. (1985a).  Predictors of transfer adjustment:  A longitudinal study.  Prepared for Office of Naval Research, Report #7, Texas A&M University.

Shaw, J.B., Fisher, C.D., & Woodman, R.W. (1985b).  Making a transfer: An analysis of qualitative data relevant to transfer attitudes and adjustment.  Prepared for Office of Naval Research, Report #9, Texas A&M University.

Shinseki, E. K. (2000).  United States Army Secondary Education Transition Study (SETS). Arlington, VA: Military Family Resource Center.

Weber, G.E. (2005).  Geographic relocation frequency, resilience, and military adolescent behavior.  Military Medicine, 170,  638-642.

References:  Effects of Geographic Mobility or Relocation on Children and Youth: Civilian

Cornille, T.A. (1993).  Support systems and the relocation process of children and families.  Marriage & family Review, 19, 281-298.

Fenzel, L. M. (1989). Role strain in early adolescence: A model for investigating school transition stress. Journal of Early Adolescence, 9, 13-33.

Hango, D. W. (2006).  The long-term effect of childhood residential mobility on educational attainment.  The sociological Quarterly 47, 631-664.

Heinlein, L.M. & Shinn, M.  (2000).  School mobility and student achievement in an urban setting.   Psychology in the Schools, 37, 349-357.

Malmgren, K. W., & Gagnon, J.C. (2005).  School mobility and students with emotional disturbance.  Journal of Child and Family studies, 14, 299-312.

Pettit, B. (2004).  Moving and children's social connections: Neighborhood context and the consequences of moving for low-income families.  Sociological Forum, 19, 285-311.

Raviv, A., Keinan, G., Abazon, Y., & Raviv, A. (1990).  Moving as a stressful life event for adolescents.  Journal of Community Psychology, 18,  130-140.

Scanlon E., & Devine, K.  (2001).  Residential mobility and youth well-being: Research, policy, and practice issues.  Journal of Sociology and Social Welfare, 28, 119-138.

South, S. J. & Haynie, D.L.  Friendship networks of mobile adolescents.  Social Forces, 83, 315-350.

South, S., Haynie, D.L., Bose, S. (2007).  Student mobility and school dropout.  Social Science Research 36, 68-94.

Stroh, L. K. & Brett, J. M. (1990a). Corporate mobility: After the move, what do the children think? Children's Environments Quarterly, 7, 7-14.

Stroh, L. K. & Brett, J. M. (1990b). Corporate mobility: Parents' perspectives on adjustment. Children's Environments Quarterly, 7, 7-14.

Tooley, K.  (1970).  The role of geographic mobility in some adjustment problems of children and families.  Journal of the American Academic of Child Psychiatry, 9, 366-378.

Tucker, C., J., Marx, J. & Long, L. (1998).  "Moving On": Residential mobility and children's school lives.  Sociology of Education, 71 111-129.

Vernberg. E.M., Greenhoot, A.F., & Biggs, B.K. (2006).  Intercommunity relocation and adolescent friendships: Who struggles and why?  Journal of Consulting and Clinical Psychology, 74, 511-523.