In my family, for at least three generations, we've had a collection of aphorisms that are repeated over and over and are now permanent hand-me-downs in our oral history. One such saying expresses the anguish involved when one has labored on a project, tirelessly and earnestly, and one still comes up empty or everything goes wrong in general.  "Oh, and I oiled it so faithfully..." says it all.

The recent project that I've worked on, and seem to be unable to accomplish at the level it deserves, is a review of NCFR member Andrew Cherlin's book, The Marriage-Go-Round.  It's not that I haven't tried. It's that I don't dare try.

The chief problem in reviewing this book is that it's wildly popular and has been reviewed by everyone who owns a word processor.  In just a little search engine revving, I discovered quite quickly that the book has been reviewed in major publications and by writers much better than I (such as the New York Times, for starters). It became clear that the best service I can provide our blog readers is to assemble some links to articles about Dr. Cherlin's book, which is a must-read for any of us in the family field. There is also a not-to-be-missed radio program link below in which Dr. Cherlin discusses his work.

Very briefly, Cherlin's book covers the way in which we in the United States view marriage vs. individualism. He covers some of this work in his oft-cited article on the "deinstitutionalization of marriage" in our scholarly journal, the Journal of Marriage and Family. Unlike the worldview of many nations, we Americans revere both the ideal of a lasting marriage as one of life's most valued achievements yet we also believe in the unequivocal right of individuals to self-actualize a la Abraham Maslow. When one is not able to do both simultaneously in a relationship.... there's the rub.  He is especially concerned about the U.S.' high relationship dissolution rate and subsequent re-partnering as related to child well-being.  

During one of my internet searches, I turned up something interesting, however. The title Marriage-Go-Round is not a first. That is the exact title of a play by Leslie Stevens from 1958 that was performed on Broadway and then made into a motion picture in 1961 starring Julie Newmar, (who was reprising her Tony Award-winning Broadway role) with actor James Mason in the male lead. I wrote to Dr. Cherlin and asked if the title to his book was a nod to this play or the classic movie.  He said the title coincidence was just that: total coincidence. I wondered; how fascinating would it be if serendipity made for some artful fluke between the old movie and the new book?  

First I couldn't find the movie on VHS or DVD; indeed, it hasn't been released for the home audience at all. So, I found a copy of the original play, bought a copy and read the entire play. I was hoping that there would be some noteworthy reflection I could make about these two pieces of literature, written 50 years apart, and perhaps how "there are no coincidences "and that life is just one big Jungian collective unconscious. 

I met with almost total failure. Other than the fact that both works cover family formation, marriage issues and the tendency for Sweden to be perceived as "out there" in its social views, I have no brilliant observations and have nothing to show for several evenings of reading. 

Oh, and I oiled it so faithfully...

But I still came out ahead. Dr. Cherlin is one of my professional heroes, and I knew his book would be superb. It is. I also enjoyed the play and look forward to the day when the film is released on DVD. Here is the original movie poster from 1961. http://www.imdb.com/media/rm1301907968/tt0054064 Here is the information about the film as collected by the Internet Movie Database. http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0054064 . Although the content of the play is definitely for an adult audience, it is an entertaining, cleverly-written piece with a steady supply of humorous bon mots. Without being a spoiler, I will disclose that it also ends with an apt moral to the story.

Here are many reviews and commentaries about The Marriage Go Round; let's begin with the New York Times and go from there.

http://www.nytimes.com/2009/04/20/books/20smit.html

http://online.wsj.com/article/SB124294779002345281.html

http://www.jhu.edu/news/home09/apr09/cherlin.html

http://bestbooksreview.com/434/the-marriage-go-round-by-andrew-jcherlin

http://www.medicalnewstoday.com/articles/151200.php

http://www.randomhouse.com/catalog/display.pperl?isbn=9780307266897&view=auqa

Then, there's an extensive interview on American University Radio's Diane Rehm Show here:

http://wamu.org/programs/dr/09/05/28.php 

Just run "Cherlin" and "Marriage Go Round" through your favorite search engine, and be prepared to read... a lot.  Better yet, read his book. http://www.amazon.com/Marriage-Go-Round-State-Marriage-Family-America/dp/0307266893?tag=naticounonfam-20/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1247694575&sr=8-1