Although the multilayered cultural narrative of American fathering is slowly evolving in progressive ways, the word "fathering," for too many, still signals notions of paternity, breadwinning, or something nebulous about "being there." "Mothering," on the other hand, more readily conjures up sentiments tied to nurturance, caregiving-the core stuff of relationships. These gendered messages, transmitted via public and private discourses, shape social policy, how others see fathers, how fathers perceive themselves, and how fathers relate to children.         

During the past several decades, policymakers, social activists, community-based professionals, academics, and others have tried to frame public discourse to accommodate their respective image of "responsible fatherhood." It is well-chronicled that much of this activity has accentuated two contrasting faces of contemporary fatherhood- the "nurturing father" and the "deadbeat dad." Active in this debate for years, I now lobby in my book, Men on a Mission, for a much broader perspective on fathering and men's relations to children.

Beyond reframing potent words like fathering and mothering, much can be gained by transforming the cultural landscape and practice of fathering-good fathering in particular-to include an ethic of community investment, most notably, spending quality time with youth. This expanded vision demands that men and others appreciate the vital overlap between men's potential contributions to their own children at home and unrelated youth in public settings. Such a vision should engender ethical and political appeal in a society with millions of at-risk youths.

My interviews with a racially-diverse sample of 55 male youth workers (e.g., coaches, teachers, youth ministers, probation officers, Big Brothers, Boys & Girls Club staff, 4-H agents, Boy Scout leaders, camp counselors) aged 18-65 reveal that fathers can articulate how their youth work and fathering are linked-especially once they are asked to ponder the possibilities. The men typically stress how time with kids in public settings has enabled them to become more focused, attentive, patient, discerning, confident, caring, and approachable fathers. Throughout their lives, the youth workers interacted with kids in varied settings, enhancing their chances of acquiring a wide range of skills and insights that helped them at home with their children and in subsequent youth work. Although most highlight positive outcomes, several mention how the ill-effects of working with disruptive and emotionally demanding kids sometimes disrupt their family lives. My participants also observe that their experience as fathers has enabled them to: a) become more sensitive to and accepting of kids' emotional well-being and varied personalities, b) grow more comfortable talking to kids, c) learn how to predict and manage kids' behavior, and d) become more attentive to kids' family circumstances and the roles that parents play. Experiencing the joys and struggles of fathering firsthand, then, provides men a unique window to understand and empathize with other kids and their parents.

In recent centuries, representations of manhood and fathering are more apt to be anchored in individualistic, family-centered accomplishments, but men's contributions to the good of the community were once instrumental in determining their social status and moral standing. Ideally, in the new millennium, men's productive involvement in youth work should summon similar public appreciation. Even though volunteering might evoke special moral recognition, doing paid youth work in areas plagued by low wages and little social status-such as early childhood education and child care- warrants public applause. That only three percent of childcare workers and nine percent of elementary school teachers in the United States are male reminds us that the gendered division of labor impedes youngsters' chances to see men engaged in nurturing activity in formal work settings.

A related way to expand the scope of fathering, and to extend our thinking beyond the one-on-one father-child template, is to inspire more collective fathering in diverse contexts. Whether in the inner city or prison where a fathering program can create a place for nonresident fathers to support one another while discovering healthy ways to relate to their children, or in a school where fathers are persuaded to participate in an afterschool program, or in a neighborhood where fathers establish an informal weekly gathering to supervise kids doing organized play in a park, men can pursue creative outlets that foster their mutual commitment to care for kids in meaningful ways. Granted, a united spirit involving women/mothers as well as men/fathers can benefit many men (and youth) as well, but children may thrive in unique ways when men hold other men directly accountable for their commitment to help youth.

The seeds for collective fathering extend beyond biological or legal ties. They can be found in social fathering and men's generativity toward youth in general. Even though parents typically provide their children unique resources, youth also benefit when unrelated adults care about their well-being and offer healthy guidance and varied forms of support. Thus, when responsible men of good will direct their energies to help youth inside and outside of families, good things tend to happen. Most of the male youth workers whom I've talked to and observed in action are genuinely eager and effective in helping kids thrive. They shine because they provide youth valuable forms of social capital, often times serving as an important bridge between child and parent, and between different institutions. In numerous instances, youth workers mentor boys and girls, helping them develop knowledge, skills, and more self-confidence.

One sign of men's attachment to youth in public settings is the familial language some adopt when referencing the kids they serve. Listen to the director of a Boys & Girls Club when he affectionately refers to the kids attending his facility, "my ultimate responsibility is to protect my babies. And I can't let anyone or anything hurt them." Or note the childcare facility owner explain his relationship to his young clients, "I dedicate most of my time to them. I love them just like they're mine." The teacher's aide reveals much by his remark, "to build that relationship with someone or child and to still see them from time to time and see what they've grown into, I mean its just like being a father." And the Boy Scout leader punctuates his familial sentiments when talking about his troop, "my kids are my kids. . . . I just got a big family out there." These men, and countless others like them, illustrate facets of a collective orientation in which they see boys and girls in diverse settings as though the kids were in a sense, their own. Even though most men work with kids whom they do not perceive in this "familial" way, an important message about men's potential commitments is conveyed by those who do.

Regrettably, today's cultural climate thwarts this expanded perspective. Compelled to seduce as much as inform its audience, the media frenzy over pedophiles, child abusers, and child pornographers has perpetuated fears of the "male threat" that, while linked to horrific acts, usually lead to exaggerated perceptions of risk. With youth nearby in public places, men increasingly are projected as either dubious guys or bad men. Fears of public scrutiny and false accusations hamper good men's efforts to generate supportive, appropriately affectionate ties with kids. Ironically, contemporary fathers are urged to be more affectionate and to initiate alone time with their sons and daughters, but they and other men are usually admonished for similar actions in their paid/volunteer work with youth.

One 41-year-old middle school teacher, Brandon, offers a poignant reminder of the types of challenges men grapple with in the new millennium. He initially describes as "incredible" the fatherhood program he launched when he directed a preschool several years ago. Brandon wanted to entice fathers to display initiative and become more involved in shaping an afterschool program. They responded by setting up tents on the playground and organizing camp-outs. As Brandon recalls,

It was a big thing because all of sudden they would bring grills and they would cook hamburgers and hot dogs. And then some of them would be in rooms doing things like, [making] bird houses with them [kids], [making] wallets from some cheap leather wallet kits. . . . And the fathers would stay there all night long, and they would walk around and make sure that the kids were all bunked down and everything. We would tell ghost stories and we would do the old hunting . . . 'snipe' hunt. . . . And then the mothers would do things . . . like holding garage sales, helping get blankets and things for the preschool. It became a huge thing in the community. And it was probably the most successful I've ever been as far as getting parents involved in something. . . . [But] we would still run into the same attitude from DCF [Department of Children and Families] and people. You know, "Are these kids here all night long and is there adequate space for them to be sleeping, in these tents?" And... my attitude toward DCF is they are a big organization that doesn't have a clue what they are doing. Because . . . we've got a bunch of parents and a bunch of fathers finally involved. . . this kid doesn't have a father but at least for one night he does. Here's a guy that's making s'mores with him, sitting around the fire, and he doesn't care that this kid is hanging on him because he's having s'mores and he's making hamburgers for him, and he's making sure the kid's okay. And then DCF comes in and they're like, "Well, you know, there's supposed to be eighteen inches between each person." And I'm thinking, "It's a freakin' tent." "Well, who's making sure that nothing inappropriate is happening?" and I'm like, "Agh [disgusted sound]." I think that's pretty much what killed the fatherhood initiative.

Although Brandon was frustrated with the bureaucracy, he loved working with kids in all sorts of settings. He is one of those rare men who have actually worked with young children in a formal child care or educational setting. Unfortunately, in a status-driven, homophobic society, men are clearly dissuaded from pursuing many child-oriented jobs. Authentic and pervasive gender equity will only emerge when it is equally acceptable and expected for men and women to be involved with children in various ways-including those tied to nurturance.

The larger cultural narrative needs rewriting so that more men actively embrace both a collective consciousness to value all youth and a generative spirit to give back to them. One practical step is to support creative mentorship programs involving fathers of children 10-17 years-of-age. With the father taking the lead, a father-child pair can jointly mentor a younger at-risk child while the father directly teaches his child the value of helping others.

Such a program underscores the potentially reciprocal relationship between youth work and fathering. It is no coincidence that those deeply invested in their youth work, and open to learning from their experiences with youngsters, seem more equipped to express themselves as loving, active fathers. Likewise, men committed to being positively involved with their own children are likely to value and understand other youth.

Ultimately, more needs to be done to integrate the trajectories of men's youth work and their fathering experiences to inspire more men to get involved with kids, and involved in supportive ways. Of course, efforts to develop an expanded vision of fathering depend on men realizing more fully how youth work and fathering can enrich their personal development. But policymakers, program directors, and other agents of social change must do their part to minimize the structural constraints that discourage men from getting more involved. For their part, family and gender scholars can generate empirically-based insights about the full range of men's experiences with youth, including the intersection between fathering and youth work.

For more information, consult Dr. Marsiglio's book, Men on a Mission: Valuing Youth Work in Our Communities, 2008, Johns Hopkins University Press.